A mournful tenor saxophone chorus by Hank Mobley underscored Tony’s night cruise through the drab, low-lit neighborhoods of Merle. After his four-to-midnight shifts, he likened himself to a haggard detective, a podunk Philip Marlowe, his top button freed from it’s buttonhole, and his tie looped loosely in the hangdog style he admired on the dicks in the late movies on television, the ones with a dismissing disdain for formality.
Tony often narrated “the scene” to himself. “It was there in the blackness of night, driving along West Locust, where an errant thought, a fleeting germ of an idea, seeded the chain reaction that would one day lead me to the resolution of the Mystery.”
The Mystery was non-existent, but the hard-boiled ad-lib gave Tony a satisfied chill down both arms.
Red light. He idly tipped up his nickel bottle and drained the last of his Coca-Cola.
“They said they’d like to buy the world a Coke. I had to buy my own, and it made me all the stronger,” Tony thought.
He tossed the empty bottle in the passenger floorboard and reached for the cigarette pack in his shirt pocket, a Pavlovian reaction to the tink of the old sedan’s cigarette lighter. Tony lit up and let the cigarette dangle from his scowling lips while he cracked the window and rubbed his forehead wearily.
“Could Angelo be lying?” A sigh. “I questioned my longstanding denial of such a notion, our having been like brothers since boot camp.”
Green light. He was pleased with himself and this dark stock persona he mimicked. Street lights the color of coral illuminated the fresh exhale of smoke he directed with a clever lip curl out the window. He squinted his left eye against the pink cloud and regarded the sleepy street with its sleepy houses with their sleepy occupants, and this was his sleepy town.
“MacGillicuddy’s crew once ran this neighborhood. Until I put his fat Irish can on a rail back to Chicago.”
Hank Mobley finished his soliloquy and Chet Baker took the accompaniment reins from there with a Harmon-muted ballad suited to the Tony’s character, that of the ex-übercop everyone knew on a first name basis.
“I never got a ticker-tape parade, but the respect was there. As reliable as a sawbuck in my pocket.”
The people’s hero. And so damned cool, just look at him! Here was no mere stockboy leaving work at the Piggly Wiggly; taking the long way through the downtown streets back to the suburbs a mere mile from where he began; having to make a mixtape of jazz standards because there was no source of such music on Merle’s airwaves; tossing back soda because he was only 17 and there were actual policemen who were not as sleepy as the rest of the town chomping at the bit to pull over a young punk in a necktie waving an open beer bottle around, when he could simply swipe another shot from his father’s vodka he espied in the kitchen cabinet; driving alone because there was not a single recreational activity open for business at 12:30 in the morning, and also because he lacked the social venerability, local celebrity cachet, or plain old self esteem in his actual provincial existence, but possessed in spades in this theater-for-one he concocted for himself; harboring a existential fear of his adult life being little more than childish pretense; contemplating whether or not he was too tired to go home and pleasure himself in the darkness of his movie poster-covered bedroom to mental images of that mini-skirted cashier who’d started at the Pig this afternoon or perhaps the two or three cashiers he typically visualized; and wishing he’d ripped off a tv dinner and a couple of magazines before he left work.
Tony dragged hard on his cigarette until the yellow-orange glow sizzled to the edge of the filter, which he then released through the crack of the window and into the night.
“The city is quiet once again, save for the unrest roiling in my nut,” he narrated to himself, the sole member of his captive audience. “Beleaguered, I headed home for a day’s absolution and a wink of dreamless sleep. Until sunrise resets the madness yet again.”












